


I've Found A Reason For Me

by Nixie_DeAngel



Series: Steve Rogers, aka The Winter Soldier [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A little angst, Bucky Barnes as Captain America, Bucky ugly happy cries, Drawing, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Steve Rogers as the Winter Soldier, Tony's Bots - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-06 23:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17354357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nixie_DeAngel/pseuds/Nixie_DeAngel
Summary: Steve half heartedly runs through his morning routine, before he departs his floor and moves swiftly down towards Tony's lab. Stepping through the doors, he felt a tension he couldn't ever explain leak from his body as he moves over to and drops down onto what had become known throughout the tower ashiscouch.His lips move automatically up into a small, soft smile as Dummy lets out a happy whir as he moves towards Steve, a green tennis ball clutched gently in his claw.





	I've Found A Reason For Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Skulls_and_Webs (allofourkingsaredead)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/allofourkingsaredead/gifts).



> Based off this prompt I got on Tumblr: I would love LOVE a Winter Soldier Steve, Stony AU please!! But like, fluffy and happy. if you could do that, please? Thank you!
> 
> Title taken from The Reason by Hoobstank. 
> 
> So this prompt definitely sparked an idea, and a MUCH larger, and longer fic will be appearing at some point this year! Also, Thanks Kat for helping me work out all my ideas and helping me sort through the plot!
> 
> Also, big thanks to the Anon who asked for this!! I can't wait to delve further into this AU!
> 
> Hope you all enjoy this!

* * *

 

 

Steve wakes to a street illuminated by the artificial lighting of street lamps and buildings still lit up, despite the ridiculously late (or early depending on how you look at it) hour. His breathing is more gasps and wheezes, as he shifts and swings his legs over the edge of the bed. He tries to quell the shivers raking his body, tries to stifle the way his arms shake as a jittery urge plays out under the skin of his hands.

It feels like something he understood once, but he can't seem to place it now. He thinks maybe he can just sort of remember what it means from _before_.

Before the _fall_.

Before the _chair_.

Before _Hydra_.

Before he was half of what he could have maybe been once upon a time.

He sits on bed for a long while, trying to remember, to place the feeling as he watches lights flash as buildings go dark or light up. But after a while he gives up, angrily tossing the blankets and sheets aside when the answer doesn't come to him. He pushes himself slowly from the bed, raking his flesh hand through his unruly locks as he pads quietly out of his bedroom to the mostly empty living room.

Steve half-heartedly runs through his morning routine of stretches, a quick work out and then heads to the bathroom for a fast shower. He departs his floor and moves swiftly down towards Tony's lab, to where he knows it’s safe. Stepping up, he lets out a soft, slow breath after placing his right palm on the scanner and the doors open with a soft swoosh.

Stepping through the doors, he feels a tension he couldn't ever explain leak from his body as eyes immediately flick over to where Tony’s hunched over his desk, muttering to FRIDAY about whatever he’s working on. Standing there for a moment and just watching, Steve feels his mind quiet in a way it hardly does anywhere else in the Tower, before eventually moving over to and drops down onto what had become known throughout the tower as _his_ couch.

Leaning his head back, gently thumping against the top, he lets his eyes flutter shut, shifting slightly to snuggle down, resting for a while before a gentle beep sounded as if coming closer to him. Lifting his head up, his lips automatically move up into a small, soft smile as Dummy lets out a happy whir while moving towards Steve, a green tennis ball clutched gently in his claw.

“Hey buddy,” he rumbles, voice hoarse and quiet, and reaches over to carefully pluck the ball from Dummy with his flesh hand and tossed it carefully towards the other end of the workshop, opposite to where Tony . Steve can't help but to let out a breathy chuckle when his eyes skim over the framed hole he'd accidentally put in the first time he'd try playing fetch with Tony's bots.

 

(It'd been the first time Steve had well and truly laughed, doubled over and nearly choking on his own breath as his face red, nearly turning purple as he struggled to breath. He remembers Tony beaming and Bucky being shocked into silence before he doubled over alongside Steve. They'd try clutching at one another to keep up right, but ended up sprawled over each other on the floor, still clutching at their sides as they failed to get themselves under control.)

 

“Hiding from Cap down here, Big Guy?”

Freezing and tensing again at the sudden sound of Tony’s voice filling up the quiet of the workshop, Steve barely has to turn his head to see Tony standing over by his table now and quickly makes his posture relax as he sees Tony’s face scrunching up in concern. It takes another moment of just watching the genius before he remembers he needs to answer the man. “No. Not hiding.” It’s clipped and hoarse and Steve feels his shoulders tensing as he flexes his hands, trying to get the unknown urge to go away.

He watches Tony watch him before the other man gives a small nod as he shrugs his shoulders, “Alright then, big guy.” And with that, Tony goes back to working for just as Dummy whirs right next to Steve, nudging him to once again toss the ball he’s brought back.

He and Dummy play for a bit before Steve let’s out a sigh and turns his head fully to look at Tony, clutching the ball gingerly in his flesh hand and shifts where he’s still seated. Clearing his throat, he waits for Tony to turn and look at him before he starts speaking, “I feel,” he tries to start but snaps his mouth shut. Furrowing his brows, Steve quickly flicks his eyes down to his knees as soon as he sees Tony tilt his head towards Steve’s direction.

“You feel?” Tony prompts softly as he waves his hand, clearing the holograms he’d been fiddling around with as he’d been working.

Flexing his hands, Steve watches as the ball drops, bouncing twice on the floor before Dummy snatches it up in his claw, whirring once before Tony called out for him to back off. Letting out a sad whir, Steve moves his head enough and watches Dummy move off towards where Butterfingers and U are on the other side of the workshop. He watches the bots for a long moment, trying to stall. Steve swallows around the lump in his throat as he curls his hands into fists, digging his knuckles into the sides of his thighs, and moves back to look at Tony.

“I feel like I need to do something,” he grounds out as he makes himself turn his head to look up at Tony, “My hands, they.” Letting out a deep breath slowly through his nose, Steve takes a moment to try and gather his thoughts, like Tony and Sam were always telling him to do. “I feel like I need to do something with them. Something I use to do _before_.”

Instead of answering him, Tony lets out a low hum, getting up and walking over to drop down onto the couch next to Steve. His brows furrowed as he brings his hand up, gently tap-tapping against his arc reactor as they sit in a comfortable silence for a bit, letting Steve calm down, the tension leave him again. They relax further into the cushions, Steve tilting sideways, leaning more into Tony’s space and soaks up the other man’s warmth.

“Something you use to do with your hands from before?” Tony moves around, slipping his arm around Steve’s shoulders. “Something you haven’t done since, since before falling from the train?”

Steve nods his head, accidentally knocking against Tony’s chin as he did.

Letting out a hum, Tony and Steve let the room fall quiet again. Steve fiddles with his tee shirt hem, eyes flickering to Tony’s hand still tapping against his chest before moving down to watch as the other man’s foot tapped out a rhythm against the floor.

They sit like that for a bit before Tony’s called back to work and Bucky comes to collect Steve for their morning run with Sam and Natasha.

 

* * *

 

It’s nearly a week later, when a manic and sleep deprived looking Tony, dark bags under his eyes, scruff along his cheeks, hair unruly as his mismatched clothing — the only hint he’s at least showered since the last time Steve saw him — and rushes up to where Steve had been sitting, watching dog cops with Clint, and nearly trips onto the pair as he flails to a stop before them.

Steve shoots up from where he’d been lounging stretched out along the chaise section, his flesh hand gently curving around Tony’s elbow, while his metal wraps around Tony’s hip and steady's the man before he can fall. “Tony?” Steve’s brow’s scrunching together in concern.

“I _know_ what it is,” Tony calls out excitedly, hands moving to curl into Steve’s shirt, failing to move Steve as he tries to shake him. “I know what your hands wanted to do! Come on, we gotta head down to the lab. I figured it out and fixed it.”

“Oh,” Steve mumbles, tightening his grip when Tony tries to take a step back but trips over Clint’s foot, from where he’d sat up in concern at how manic Tony looked.

“Is he okay?” Clint asks, having snatched up the remote and pauses the show before frowning up at their resident genius. “He doesn’t look good.”

“Just needs to get some sleep,” Steve murmurs, lips pulling down into a more pronounced frown as he stares down at the other man. “Tony?” Steve calls, attempting to get his attention as he watches the man sway in his hold. “Tony?” Steve tries again when he watches Tony mumble as he used his free hand to poke at Steve’s pecs.

It takes a few more times of Steve calling his name, before Tony’s head snaps up, lips stretching into a beaming grin as his eyes light up. “Steve! Yes, I know what it is,” he nearly yells excitedly, failing to jump up in excitement. “Come on,” he tugs at Steve’s shirt again. “You gotta come with me,” he pauses as he trails off, eyes moving over to look down at Clint. “When did you get here?”

Snorting with a roll of his eyes, Clint turns from frowning at Tony in concern and up at Steve, impish sparkle in his eyes. “You better get your genius to bed, Steve.”

Steve feels his neck heat up as he turns his head to glare at Clint for a moment. Tugging Tony more firmly into him, Steve stoops down to slip his metal arm under Tony’s knees and the other around his back, and swings him up into his arms as he stands up. He bites back a few choice remarks when Clint cackles as they stride off towards the elevators.

“Come on, T,” Steve mutters softly into the man’s ear as they wait for FRIDAY to open the doors. “Let’s get you to bed, котёнок.”

“No,” Tony mutters wiggling until Steve tightened his grip on the man. “We gotta go to the workshop,” he slurs sleepily. “Go'a show you I figu’e’ i’ ou’,” he mumbles as his head lulls onto Steve’s shoulder, eyes fluttering close.

 

 

It’s almost into the late evening when Jarvis announces himself quietly, asking if Steve would please come down to Sir’s workshop, as his creator has something he’d like Steve to see.

Steve’s dip down into a small frown but he sets his book aside, sharing a quick look with Bucky, who mirrors the look on his own face, before pushing up from the couch and making his way to the elevator for the ride down.

Stepping off, Steve feels his frown deepen as his eyes flick around the abnormally quiet space until they land on a section that’s been closed off with a dirty tarp. “That wasn’t there yesterday,” he murmurs softly to himself as he takes half a step towards it before making himself stop and call out loudly, “Tony?”

He hears a small crash, Tony give off a small curse as he slips around the tarp, and Steve can’t help it as his lips twitch up into a small, mirroring the way Tony’s face lights up when he spots Steve.

“Great, you’re here.” Tony grins as he bounds his way over to Steve. Reaching out, Tony curls his left hand into Steve’s shirt and tugs lightly, making the man follow him as Tony walks back toward the closed off area. “So, I figured out what your hands were trying to tell you last week. And I,” he clears his throat, eyes moving down to stare at Steve’s chest instead of his eyes, “And I sort of set up an area for you. Like. You don’t have to use it or anything, I just. I just wanted to give you a space where you could. If you wanted too, I mean.”

Shifting, Tony looks up from beneath his lashes, lips twisting into a small, uncertain smile before continuing on with his rambles. “And if you want too, we can totally move this up to your floor, if that would make you more comfortable. I just. Well, you seem like you’re comfortable down here, so I thought. Thought maybe it’d set it up here.”

Reaching up, Steve curls his hands around Tony’s forearms, cutting the genius off before he could continue to babble. “Tony?”

Sucking in a quick breath, Tony gave another uneasy smile. “Right, right, okay, so, um, here it is,” he flapped his free hand behind him, finally curling his fingers around the material and pulling, so the tarp fell to the floor when he yanked.

Turning his eyes from the man before him, Steve blinks once, twice as he takes in the space. Easels with blank canvas’ sitting on them, a table covered with paints, brushes and sketching pads. Shelving units stocked full with supplies lined the walls, while a stool sat before one easel.

 

(He had a vague memory of sitting in a heavy coat, drawing a monkey dressed as Captain America, riding a unicycle while heavy rain poured down from dark skies.)

 

It’s after a moment of strained silence, before Tony once again launches into another round of barely understandable rambles, dropping his grip on Steve and moving back enough to cause Steve’s hands to slip down his arms, as he moved to flutter around to area as he explained this and that.

Blinking, Steve feels his chest tighten, his eyes sting as he sucks in a few quick breaths as he looks around. Taking one trembling step forward, Steve reaches out with shaking hands to reach out and tug Tony into his chest, wrapping his arms around the man as he hugged him tightly for a long few moments.

“Oh, _Steve_ ,” Tony murmurs as he brings his own arms up to wrap tightly around Steve’s waist. They stay like that for a while, as Steve lets out shaky, wet breathes against Tony’s neck where he’s tucked his face.

Eventually they pull apart, once Steve’s got himself under control and Tony gives him a tour around the small corner, tapping a plaque that state’s it’s, ‘Steve’s Corner’ with a wiry grin.

 

* * *

 

 

Three days later, Steve is happily drawing in his second sketch pad —having filled the first one up quickly that first night— when Jarvis announces Bucky’s arrival with Sam.

“Hey, Punk, it’s ti-” Bucky starts calls out before freezing mid step as he takes in Steve hunched over his pad on the couch. His eyes widen as his brain finally registers exactly what his eyes are seeing. “Stevie,” he whispers, voice hoarse and thick with emotion.

Snapping his head up, Steve starts to smile before his lips turn down in a frown as he watches Bucky’s eyes well with tears, sucking in a breath that turns into a sob half way through.

“The hell?” Sam calls out alarmed as he turns, placing his left hand along the small of Bucky’s back, while he brings his right up towards his face but pauses. “Bucky? James? What’s wrong, Cap?”

“You’re, you’re drawing again?” Bucky gasps out in between shaky breaths, that sound more like sobs, with how wet his voice sounds. “Shit, Stevie.”

“What is Capsicle crying about?” Tony asks in alarm as he pops up from behind Sam and Bucky, swinging his head wildly between the pair and Steve, who’s setting his pad aside and pushing up to pad over to the trio. As soon as he’s close enough, Bucky pushes Sam aside and yanks Steve forward, wrapping him up into a tight hug as he cries into his best friend’s shoulder.

Glancing at the pair, Tony and Sam turn to share a bewildered look, shrugging slightly before backing away and heading off so the super soldiers could have a private moment.

Just before the elevators close, Tony looks back to catch Steve’s eyes. Sending the man a soft, encouraging smile, Tony gives a quick wiggle of his fingers in a wave just as the doors slide close.

“Weird, right?”

Turning to shoot Sam a look, Tony gave a quick nod. “Yeah,” he agrees softly. “But expected. Steve was,” shifting before glancing at Sam before looking back down at his feet. “It’s the first time since everything that Bucky saw Steve doing something from before they joined the Army,” waving his hand about, “Understandable but still, weird.”

“Yeah,” Sam agrees after a moment, nodding. “Still gonna roast him for the dramatics though.”

Chuckling, Tony nodded.

**Author's Note:**

> котёнок - is Kitten in Russian (This should be right, but if not, please let me know?)
> 
> Also, Tony and Sam might joke about roasting Bucky, I don't see them actually following through as they both understand just how emotional that moment was for Bucky and Steve.
> 
> I'm [Nixie](http://nixie-deangel.tumblr.com/). Please don't be afraid to tell me what you think of this!


End file.
